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҉Captain Jorge Juan Valdez the Magnificent

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(no subject) [Nov. 18th, 2011|10:39 pm]
҉Captain Jorge Juan Valdez the Magnificent
It's really nice to feel like I should be creating again. Doing, making, it all feels good. Thinking really hard about opening up my Etsy store again, I wouldn't mind having some extra cash. Hah.

Life is good, I'm so ready for Christmas though. I miss my mom and can't wait for her to come visit. SHH. Don't tell though!
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WHARGARBL [Nov. 17th, 2011|12:33 am]
҉Captain Jorge Juan Valdez the Magnificent
I wish I could find the motivation to post more often. I really truly do.

It seems like everything has changed. For the better, though! David and I literally decided that we wanted to get out of Portland, and ten days later, we had the cars packed up and we were on the road to Colorado.

Talk about scary experience. Two and a half days of driving two cars 1300 miles. Things I learned along the way? Fuck Wyoming. What a piss poor state to drive through. I think we would have been fucked if we weren't taking two small Japanese cars that get 30+ MPG. We stayed the first night in Boise, paid a visit to dear old friends. It was both amazing and odd to see your childhood best friend after what, six? Seven years? Too damn long. All I remember is that it was a very brief OH HI I GOTTA PEE at her high school graduation.

The second night we spent somewhere in Wyoming. We decided we wanted to go out to IHOP and didn't realize how much the elevation change would affect us. We were panting and heaving like a fat kid spanking it in the back of a porn shop just trying to cross the street in a timely manner. UGH. Going from ~300-500 feet above sea level to 7000 ft will do that to you.

The third night, we stayed in quite possibly the scariest hotel I've ever stayed in. There were holes in the blankets, the blankets were super faded, and even the non-smoking rooms stunk of cigarettes. The good news? There was a Nordstrom Rack, a 'Saks Off 5th Avenue', and the Neiman Marcus equivalent. Awesome. Too bad none of them carried Betsey Johnson jewelry.

We had a guy staying in the hotel room next to us that was to put it quite nicely, the biggest fucking creep I've ever encountered. He looked like the sort of person that you shouldn't leave alone with your wallet, and certainly didn't act in a way that would change that perception- some of the nicer things he said to us included questions about our sex lives, and asking if we'd ever had sex with ear wax. Joy.
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Things that have been learned/done on the way to/in Denver. [Sep. 9th, 2011|12:10 am]
҉Captain Jorge Juan Valdez the Magnificent
1. David got to meet my childhood best friend. She's a lot like you. Tiny, not secretive about her sexuality, and kooky in an endearing way. David and her partner got along very well. It was really good to reconnect. This was in Boise.

2. Driving through Utah was mostly uneventful. We stopped at a rest stop, and ran in to quite possibly the cutest lesbians I've ever seen on their way home from Burning Man. They had at least 3/4 inch lobes (both of them!) and they both had violently purple and pink dreads. They had a giant ass Chevy van that was having some engine trouble. Turns out it can be a pretty nasty mess when you open the radiator while the engine is still hot. No one got hurt though. They were back on the road in no time.

3. Driving through Wyoming is unbelievably boring. Nothing but plains and road construction. Nearly put the car off the road when the road started flooding. Speed limit in Wyoming is 75 MPH. I probably should have slowed down. (Don't tell mom.)

4. I have counted no less than 12 medical marijuana dispensaries since we got here.

5. Downtown Denver is FULL of giant fucking statues of things. Some of the statues we've seen included: a giant blue bear humping the Wells Fargo corporate offices, a giant nose, a giant face, a giant pegasus, a giant pixelated rhinosceros, a giant beer tap, a giant fake diamond.

6. Downtown Denver is also full of pawn shops. 5 in a row on one street.

7. Denver has bright purple trash cans.

8. Rabbits make surprisingly big turds.

9. There is a Nordstrom Rack, a Saks 'Off Fifth Avenue', and a Last Chance Neiman Marcus right across the street from our hotel. FUCK YES.

10. As we were coming back to the car after checking out an apartment, the gentleman whose house we were parked in front of decided to introduce himself. He was a self described '100% all natural wet-back', who went on to tell us that he works hard, pays taxes, and that we should save up money, learn spanish, and move to Mexico and uy some Jet skis to rent out. We also got an invitation to dinner this weekend. His daughter was sitting on the porch face palming for the entire conversation.

11. Pumping gas without spilling on your foot is not as easy as it looks.
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(no subject) [May. 27th, 2011|02:58 am]
҉Captain Jorge Juan Valdez the Magnificent
Plod plod plod....

I feel like I've been severely neglecting this journal. Ah well.

Here's the most recent update:

1. Wedding, yes. There's going to be one. When? Dunno exactly, but we'll tell you when we figure it out ourselves. Could be a married-by-Elvis situation, could b a married-by-doughnuts, could be something deep and meaningful and at the beach.

2. Apparently David has deemed sleeveless shirts of all manner to be "Cave Junction cool". Right.

3. Octavio is a name for eight sided assholes.

4. I'm not dealing well with this spring. "Spring", I mean. We're officially getting the fuck out of Dodgeland, and headed off to Denver instead. Woohoo!

5. Mom met Vanna White. No, she wasn't on Wheel.

6. I'm finally feeling motivated to write more, and am doing so here: sparr0w-sparr0w.blogspot.com, I got int in my head that I needed to write down all of my family memories so that I wouldn't forget any of them. Apparently some of it was worth reading.

7. Spending Halloween in San Francisco. Attempting to assemble a crow costume between now and then while simultaneously taking 16 credits and hunting for work.
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Important life lesson #2: You can always count on friends with pineapple. [Mar. 12th, 2011|02:14 am]
҉Captain Jorge Juan Valdez the Magnificent
A long long time ago, before I met Mr. David, I had a dating life.

I met this guy who, for all intents and purposes was a more attractive Vin Diesel look alike. Say what you will, but I am all about the gravely voiced, bald, and overly muscled men. His voice was slightly gravely, his head shaved, and he was not too muscley, not too lean. In other words? He was hot.

We spent many days switching between friendly banter and flirting, when he finally invited me over for dinner one night- hooray! Turns out Mr. Not-Diesel is quite an accomplished cook. I haven't had many meals better than that. Mr.ICantBelieveItsNotDiesel was also an accomplished vintner and baker- homemade cheesecake and a cabernet from his own backyard? Be still my beating heart! If he had whipped out a ring, I would have gladly accepted.

After that heavenly meal, he switches on some smooth jazz, and leads me to the bathroom, where things start to get hot and steamy. It left me breathless, and my heart was pounding. I was dizzy, and the room was spinning. This is not a metaphor. I figured it was just the steam making it a little harder to breathe, and thought almost nothing of it.

I'm on the bed with Mr. FauxDiesel, things are picking up speed and going quite well, the contract was written, and we were about to sign the deal, when my hand bunches up in a fist. I remember thinking to myself.. What the fuck? Demonic possession? I tried to make a joke about it to him, when much to my chagrin, I discovered that my mouth wasn't working.

I frantically tried to tell him that I was having a stroke, or that my brain had spontaneously grown a tumor, or that there was some sort of massive medical emergency happening, but all that came out was MRRMLLMRRRRR MRRLRMLRRRADFAERRR BLRRGH! I tried to pantomime it, but since I couldn't unclench my fist, it probably looked like I was trying to hit him.

I lost all control of my muscles at that point, and found my body forcing itself into a very shaky fetal position. Not cool body, not cool. He seemed to figure out at that point that something BAD! was going on, and you know what that asshole did instead of at least trying to call an ambulance or something? He whips his dick out. What the fuck? As I slowly recovered, he just kept putting his hands in inappropriate places. Instead of... y'know, looking kind of concerned, he just kept trying to get him some. Ugh.

When my body finally exorcised it's demons, I slapped that motherfucker as hard as I could, walked out to my car, called my best friend, and stupidly drove to her house. I was so freaked out by the whole experience. Best friend was kind enough to wait for me with pineapple, kind words, and a level head.

I'll tell you, I have never been so thankful to see that little yellow fruit, and am eternally grateful because of that little lady in glasses.
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(no subject) [Mar. 2nd, 2011|09:03 pm]
҉Captain Jorge Juan Valdez the Magnificent
I really miss my dad.

It's weird to say it finally, but I really miss the old man. It's been... three years? Four almost? I just tried to pick up the phone and call him again. :(

I really wish I had gotten to know him better, I still feel like I barely knew anything about him. I wish I had gone to visit one more time, I wish I hadn't moved down to California... I hope he's proud of me, because I'm doing the best I can. I miss you dad. I wish things didn't end the way they did.
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Collection collector [Feb. 12th, 2011|01:59 am]
҉Captain Jorge Juan Valdez the Magnificent
I have a collection of collections. Some of them are kind of weird.

1. Gems/minerals, especially feldspar minerals and color changing stones. (Labradorite, sunstone, and so on)
I have so much labradorite, it's not even funny. I love how diverse that stone is.

2. Miniature perfume bottles (think the deluxe sample size, where it still resembles the normal perfume bottle, but y'know, tiny.)
3. Perfume sample bottles (those itty bitty testers they give you at stores)
4. Vintage cameras
5. Postcards
6. Asimov Science Fiction magazines.
7. Tokidoki stuff (lately it's been keychains and wallets)
8. 1" buttons (Usually from concerts I attend)
9. Crow stuff (not the movie, the bird)
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